4Shoes 'BOOKENDS'; Morgan Horses

4Shoes 'BOOKENDS'; Morgan Horses
“Hold fast to dreams, For if dreams die, Life is a broken-winged bird, That cannot fly.” ~Langston Hughes *pictured: '4Shoes Bookends'

Wednesday, 7 March 2018

Screw Maturity!

For today, I Choose only Laughter!
Are you, like me, in need of some humorous distraction to shore you up? Let's take a look at some of the limitless expanse of cockamamie, half-baked malarkey on the internet. For instance...
Screams 'Crazy Cat Lady'. Loudly. If you do have children... just know in advance that, if you glue these tiny monstrosities to your fingers, your daughter will not go out in public with you. Not even if you promise to buy her a car. She. Will. Not. And the EYE-rolling she will be doing while you try to convince her of how stylish you are is very likely to induce seizures.
I am not joking when I ask, what in the actual F?  Knowing that a woman paid someone $$ to do this to her, I laughed so hard that tea shot from my nose in a painful jet; I briefly considered filing a lawsuit. I'm guessing that this girl asked for a sculptured kissy lip design(?) but, Holy Mother of Gawd, those pearls alone take that mess in a completely different direction! A southerly direction, if you catch my meaning... and you know that you do. 
I cannot Unsee it, & now neither can you.
You are welcome.
Specifically what does this nut with a glue gun & a rudimentary understanding of wiring have against babies & flowers? I do not even know who thinks it's a good idea to let the institutionalized fart around with electricity in the first place. 
Secondly, I cannot decide what's worse... this craptastic doll disaster with no torso trapped in a cheese dome with its' cankles & dead, empty eyes, or that straight up satanic vibe emphasized by the freaky, extra-terrestrial glow emanating from its' orifices?
Either way, you know little Sally never imagined the precious babydoll that Santa brought her when she was 4 years old would later go on to be bastardized into a source of nightmares for normals.  
Honey.... Who Hurt You? 
When you were a child? Maybe did someone bitch drunk on cheap chardonnay beat you black and blue with your own Barbie doll? Have you ever spoken to anyone about all that pain that's locked up inside you? Don't you think you owe it to that sad little child inside of you to get some help?
You know, before you feel the need to move on to making water tumblers from the hollowed out skulls of the neighbourhoods' dogs & cats?
Come on now, someone close to this crafter needs to drop an email to Dr. Phil before the songbird & squirrel populations get to rising....

Seriously... I just. Can't. Even.
The disgusting factor here is waaay too far off the charts, even for me. 

Finally! Something that does not make me fear for Humanity as a whole. Pansies in a parasol.
After those other faith-shakers, I find these pretty posies rather Peaceful.
I think it's best we end today on this pleasant note. 

Friday, 2 March 2018

Canuck Ski Ballet

Canadians are internationally known for 3 things: 

  1. We apologize too readily, almost conversationally (I'm sorry, but we do say 'I'm sorry' a lot, eh?), 
  2. Great sportsmanship, & 
  3. Most of us also have a wicked-good sense of humour! 

With my family & friend group, this commercial is absolutely a REAL THING that somebody would/could bust out for laughs. Including the final flip complete with faceplant AND the completely unfazed strutting recovery. 

In fact, that guy is practically every guy I ever dated... Including Mr Shoes, except that Mr Shoes would almost certainly have landed the flip. Very athletic, Mr Shoes.  

We'd skip the KFC though; since we met Chester, the Colonel hasn't been back. 
Happy Weekend Everyone!

Sunday, 25 February 2018

Good Counsel

Time spent outdoors refreshes both mind & body.
Accept with Grace all the Love that is offered to you.
Cherish in return the Ones who most Adore you.
Never underestimate the restorative qualities of a good nap.
Sunbeams afford comfort & solace on the coldest of days.