4Shoes 'BOOKENDS'; Morgan Horses

4Shoes 'BOOKENDS'; Morgan Horses
“Hold fast to dreams, For if dreams die, Life is a broken-winged bird, That cannot fly.” ~Langston Hughes *pictured: '4Shoes Bookends'

Monday, 8 August 2016

Merry Anniversary

2016: In Memory of a Palomino Horse With No Name
August, 2015 
Preface: Over the years I've been fortunate to have had a few horses who, from the get go, were almost easy -- if there is such a thing. Those no-stress personalities surely made them easy to love & a pleasure to ride, but they also came with appropriately high dollar price tags.
I have felt equally lucky (though maybe not so much at the time) to have had a couple of cayuses who did not leap to bond with me, took a ton more work than I had imagined that they would, tested me sorely before trusting & made me question myself to the bone... because (once we got in sync) they proved to be among the rare gems who are worth more than their weights in gold. Connecting on a deeper level with those horses has been so rewarding & it spurred me on to require more of myself as a rider for the sake of those mounts.

It is my opinion that most new horse/rider partnerships connect & develop over time; if you want a true partner up under your butt, that relationship (like any other) takes time & effort to build before it can ever flourish!
This post was & is intended as encouragement & support for anyone who may find their journey to partnership with a new horse is something 'less than easy'. 
Sometimes the higher the fruit, the sweeter the juice.
Thank you for reading.
_____________________
 
Getting a new horse is like starting a new romantic relationship: you have to go in with an open heart but you cannot be foolish or you are in for a big hurt. An open heart holds hands gently & starts out with a kiss on the cheek; a foolish heart gives out his passwords, his credit card, & the keys to his apartment before you know his middle name.
Horses are not fools. Horses are hardwired, first & foremost, to protect themselves. A new human is an unknown; understandably, some of the horse's defenses are going to go up.
Let's start out 'Slow & steady. Cool & Calm."
In a new relationship, the rider cannot afford to be a fool either; taking it too far, too fast can get you hurt. And I'm not talking about a broken heart. You need to take the time to learn about your new horse through observation, slow progression, & application of gentle pressure to find the sensitive spots (physically & emotionally) of your new partner.
Once you've taken the time to really learn  something about your new horse, from your new horse, only then can you begin to form your relationship - gently, as a potter moulds clay into pots. 
There is no rushing this process, because as soon as you are too rough or move too fast, the clay may refuse your touch & collapse on the wheel. Similarly, as soon as your approach becomes rough or impatient, the horse may refuse your leadership & collapse in his own way (it might be balking, or bucking, or a mental shut down).
If you have caused your horse to collapse away from you in some way, how you handle yourself & how you re-address the problem is critical. If you throw your hands in the air & walk away, the relationship is in jeopardy due entirely to your temper & your lack of commitment to your goal.
If you must walk away to re-center yourself -- do that, because it is crucial to the training process to maintain a positive energy. Get yourself together as quickly as you can & return to your horse with a smile on your face, because you don't want your horse to linger on the memory of your bad behaviour. 
If you will keep your emotions in check & redirect your energy & thoughts to go back 1 or 2 steps from before the problem arose, you can re-instill calm in your horse through the calm & the confidence that you radiate out to him & even a problem session can end on a positive note.
Do your best to leave every interaction with your new horse on a positive note. 
This is not always easy, because sometimes he's going to act like a butthead in spite of the $$ you've spent on him & the time you've invested in him & the effort it is taking at that very moment to LOVE him even though you don't currently LIKE him too much; but it's important enough to reiterate that any relationship worth having is likely going to be some work.
Sometimes you might find yourself in a little over your head - that's not a bad thing because it allows you the  opportunity to learn more than what you already knew. Consult with other horse people whose judgement you trust & whom you respect. Sometimes what you really need is someone to shake up your perspective & help get you back into a positive frame of mind & moving in a productive direction.
 A word to the wise, when it comes to 1000lbs of horseflesh, if you ARE in over your head - get good  experienced professional help SOONER rather than later. Recognizing that you need help can save you a lot of trouble. More importantly, for your horse, you getting that help could mean the difference between a harmonious riding partnership in the future, or your poor horse someday riding in a packed, stuffy truck on the way to slaughter.
If you find yourself discouraged & feeling as though the horse is trying your patience, remind yourself that horses don't really have the capacity to plan out being a pain in the ass. It is far more likely that he either does not understand  what you want from him, or that you have not inspired enough trust for him to freely give what you are asking.
From the viewpoint of the horse,
Why should he trust you before you repeatedly demonstrate to him that you deserve his trust?   
How can he surrender his perfectly natural fearful instincts until you have repeatedly demonstrated that you will calmly & consistently work through his mistrust &/or misbehaviour?
How can you expect him to trust your judgement in his moments of doubt until he believes that you are a capable, wise, & fair leader?

"I want to understand you. You are safe with me. I will never hurt you".

The Breakthrough, the tipping point, the real reward... is when the horse finally starts to trust & bond, understands your ask, & begins to give freely what is asked of it.
If the new rider can just enjoy the initial honeymoon period, engage fully in the mutual getting-to-know-you phase, & stick out the inevitable testing the boundaries period with a positive, consistent, & committed attitude...
Then is when they can begin to understand the thinking process of their new horse.
Then is when they will begin to feel that tenuous trust their new horse is putting in them.
Then is when they will  begin to sense that a genuine partnership is forming.
Then is when they must continue to build on that tentative trust by leading  successfully.
Then is when they will be able to begin to truly appreciate  their new horse as a unique, & possibly quirky, but absolute individual.
Never doubt that there will be moments of backsliding (because there will be). You CAN work through them.
In the face of all that WORK...  

MAGIC can truly begin to happen.

8 comments:

  1. Great post! I agree with everything you've said. Too often people don't take the amount of time both horse and rider need to get to know one another. The only way you can truly get the horse to accept you is by showing him you are trustworthy. I feel it's always best to take the time to put in the work in the beginning to reap the rewards in the future. Relationships are formed over time nothing rushed can be turned into the solid partnership we all want with out horses.

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    1. Thank You for commenting Grey Horse; I really do value your opinion.
      I appreciate ALL feedback from readers; I appreciate just having readers!

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  2. Lovely post. As you know, I ran out to get a trainer to help me when I found I was over my head. It was the best thing I ever did. Before that, I got stalled where I didn't feel comfortable and I let the years go by!! What a mistake. Relationships do take so much time and commitment and help.

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    1. Yes, & I love that you're sharing your lessons on your blog! It feels kind of like I'm pirating the lesson*. :D
      Riders who are always open to it, are always learning - & I know that I benefit best in equal proportion to how much my horse benefits.

      *I rode for half my life before I had the opportunity to train with a real professional. Funny, before I took lessons, I pretty much thought I knew what I was doing... Haha

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    1. Thanks so much, thanks for reading.

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  4. Dear Mrs Shoes, what a wise post. You know I'm not much of a rider, but it doesn't matter, it's all the same regardless of whether riding on a back of a horse or running at his side. My three are so different in trusting and bonding, but over this many years a solid band of trust has developed. An open heart and a true interest in the 'person' of the horse is needed - at all times and always!

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    1. I think that some riders do sometimes forget to take the 'personality & character' of their horse into account.

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