|A serious breach in porcine security over the past weekend @ the 4Shoes resulted in much frantic oinking about & a state of general confusion in the barnyard. However, we are assured, at no time was there ever any real danger to the public. |
Mr Shoes, Warden of the 4Shoes for over a decade, was away from the farm making fat stacks at the time of the troubling incident.
Mrs Shoes, 4Shoes' Assistant Warden, was quoted as saying, "Gawdammit!". When pressed for further details, she squawked, "No comment!", while shaking a pail of feed in an attempt to lure the escapee into a confined area.
|The prisoner, one Michael Scofield (aka 'Spot'), was surprised by the 4Shoes A.W. out of bounds just before dusk yesterday; a general alarm was sounded before the scoundrel was able to get away from the barnyard area & into the thickness of the forest less than a quarter of a mile distant. Sources speculate that Scofield was apprehended while attempting to free his brother, Lincoln Burrows, who is also serving a life sentence at the 4Shoes facility. |
Though shamed family members declined to comment, their close friend, Y19, said, "It's complete & total bullshit; Michael & Linc are unjustly incarcerated simply because they are delicious!"
It remains unclear whether the brothers were heading to market for roast beef (supporting rumours that Y19 is a dumb cow)... but thanks to the vigilance of the 4Shoes A.W., that little piggie went 'weee-weee-weee' all the way home.