Billie Holiday - I'll Be Seeing You (1944)
|Our nephew, Sandals, has been in a coma now for 91 days; I can't begin to tell you how much more emotionally difficult it is to deal with this extended period of grieving than I have known sudden grief to be.|
Had this sweet boy just died on the day that car smashed into him, or sometime in the early days after, we would all be moving (at our own paces of course, but moving) through the stages of grief & coming to grips with loss.
This is completely different.
Extended grief is more like a wound that will not close...
Open, raw, & slowly oozing the blood of joy from the soul.
I imagine that anyone who has had a loved one linger on has also felt something like this.
Did you know that some comatose patients open their eyes?
That their eyes will move?
When you pray so hard for it to be true, it can be very easy to convince yourself that open eyes mean seeing. Maybe even comprehension.
That there is some remnant of the person that you love behind those eyes.
But when four separate medical teams in 2 different provinces & three different hospitals tell you clearly & repeatedly that it is not so - that there is no chance of any improvement, let alone recovery...
Yet, his parents are not ready to let him go.
And so we all wait, slowly bleeding joy.