4Shoes 'BOOKENDS'; Morgan Horses

4Shoes 'BOOKENDS'; Morgan Horses
“Hold fast to dreams, For if dreams die, Life is a broken-winged bird, That cannot fly.” ~Langston Hughes *pictured: '4Shoes Bookends'

Wednesday, 7 March 2018

Screw Maturity!

For today, I Choose only Laughter!
Are you, like me, in need of some humorous distraction to shore you up? Let's take a look at some of the limitless expanse of cockamamie, half-baked malarkey on the internet. For instance...
Screams 'Crazy Cat Lady'. Loudly. If you do have children... just know in advance that, if you glue these tiny monstrosities to your fingers, your daughter will not go out in public with you. Not even if you promise to buy her a car. She. Will. Not. And the EYE-rolling she will be doing while you try to convince her of how stylish you are is very likely to induce seizures.
I am not joking when I ask, what in the actual F?  Knowing that a woman paid someone $$ to do this to her, I laughed so hard that tea shot from my nose in a painful jet; I briefly considered filing a lawsuit. I'm guessing that this girl asked for a sculptured kissy lip design(?) but, Holy Mother of Gawd, those pearls alone take that mess in a completely different direction! A southerly direction, if you catch my meaning... and you know that you do. 
I cannot Unsee it, & now neither can you.
You are welcome.
Hahaha
Specifically what does this nut with a glue gun & a rudimentary understanding of wiring have against babies & flowers? I do not even know who thinks it's a good idea to let the institutionalized fart around with electricity in the first place. 
Secondly, I cannot decide what's worse... this craptastic doll disaster with no torso trapped in a cheese dome with its' cankles & dead, empty eyes, or that straight up satanic vibe emphasized by the freaky, extra-terrestrial glow emanating from its' orifices?
Either way, you know little Sally never imagined the precious babydoll that Santa brought her when she was 4 years old would later go on to be bastardized into a source of nightmares for normals.  
Honey.... Who Hurt You? 
When you were a child? Maybe did someone bitch drunk on cheap chardonnay beat you black and blue with your own Barbie doll? Have you ever spoken to anyone about all that pain that's locked up inside you? Don't you think you owe it to that sad little child inside of you to get some help?
You know, before you feel the need to move on to making water tumblers from the hollowed out skulls of the neighbourhoods' dogs & cats?
Come on now, someone close to this crafter needs to drop an email to Dr. Phil before the songbird & squirrel populations get to rising....

Seriously... I just. Can't. Even.
The disgusting factor here is waaay too far off the charts, even for me. 

Finally! Something that does not make me fear for Humanity as a whole. Pansies in a parasol.
After those other faith-shakers, I find these pretty posies rather Peaceful.
I think it's best we end today on this pleasant note. 

8 comments:

  1. Thank you for the laugh! I loved it.

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    1. Well, GHM & Linda & I were laughing so, you're in good company.

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  2. That lit up baby doll head was scary sick. The toenail thing...art? I think not just creepy and disgusting if I might say so. And oh my god the nails with the pearl...wtf? Thanks for the pansies maybe there are some normal people left hidden in little pockets somewhere!

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    1. I know, right? The moss gives the DollMonster a little 'Caesar' quality, & what was the point of omitting the torso but adding back the feet? Was it some kind of political statement, is the crafter just crazy, does it serve some demented purpose? Like, can you imagine if that thing is the nightlight in the spare bedroom & you don't notice it until it's already dark? *shudder* Although, I really don't believe anyone could NOT notice it... the crafter probably displays it pretty prominently. And what would you even say to the crafter...? I think I'd probably try to escape before my skin was harvested for a craft project...
      Skulls are creepy enough - toenail skulls just take it to a whole. nutha. level. Like, how long did the 'artist' save his toenails? Did he have this specific image in mind? Did he solicit donor toenails?
      Hahaha, the pearl, haha, I'll be calling it a pearl from now on, guaranteed. Hahaha

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  3. Thank the Maker you ended with Pansies in a Parasol cuz the rest of that ....Eye Bleach!!! Talk about stuff nightmares are made of! ::shudder::

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    1. Agreed. Although the pearl nails makes me laugh til my side hurts every time I think of them.

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  4. Somehow I missed this one and but not the laugh! I've seen those fingernails too. I'm glad you feel like me yuck! I'm thinking though I may need to plant an umbrella! Have a good one.

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  5. Righteo!
    Wait, my Dad says that.
    Omg, I'm turning into my dad...

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